to Valentine or not to Valentine?

In anticipation of Valentine's Day, and the fact that a friend asked me to write him one whilst he was drunk (how romantic). I give you my 'Valentine' for a friend.

Dearest ......... ,
It is of my personal choice to not believe in Valentines day, I think it is both a scam (thanks Hallmark) and that it is horrible to only show love one day a year - who cares that is Feb. 14th?
Here is some well researched information on the 'special' day that has men buying flowers, chocolates and cheesy cards.

ORIGIN (s)
The Catholic Church recognises at least three different Saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of which were martyred. Please note these three were ALL based on legend alone.

1. V-dog was a priest during the 3rd Century in Rome, whom recognised the injustice bestowed upon single men by Emperor Claudius II; the injustice being that single men made better soldiers, so he outlawed marriage. So our good Priest V-dog would perform secret marriages between sweethearts, until he was found out - and well, completely fucked in the worst possible way (killed).

2. V-dog was imprisoned and sent the very first 'valentine' to a young girl that happened to be the jailers daughter, after she had visit the prison and he had fallen in love. Right before his death he signed the letter 'From your Valentine' Oh he had also helped other (Christian) inmates escape the Roman prison.

And then there was the third guy, I'm sure he was equally heroic to a certain degree, and of course a romantic (maybe he liked little girls as well?) Whatever it may be, Valentine became one of the most popular Saints in England and France.

–and then came Hallmark rubbing their greedy paws together in sheer delight –

The origin of the date is to do with the burial or death of our beloved Valentine Saint. Oh there is also a legend in regards to Pagans and the celebration of Lupercalia on Feb. 15th. Lupercalia was a fertility festival dedicated to the Roman god of agriculture - Faunus. Basically Roman Priests (drunk and naked?) would gather together at a cave and sacrifice goats & dogs, you know for purification and fertility. They took the strips of goats hide to the streets and slapped women and crops with it. The women welcomed this action because they wanted to have babies in the coming year. Then there was some raffle in an urn of all the young women in town, bachelors would draw a name from the urn and that woman would be theirs for the year - marriage optional, babies a must.

By the 5th Century Lupercalia was outlawed for being 'un-christian' and the Pope - a dude called Gelasius declared Feb. 14th St. Valentines Day. It was during the Middle Ages however that V-day became associated with love, because of the birds mating season in England and France.

FACT: the oldest known Valentine was written in 1415 by the Duke of Orleans, Charles. It was a poem to his imprisoned wife in the Tower of London.

Next came the 17th Century in which the US, Canada, Mexico and Australia joint the UK and France in celebration. And from the 18th - 19th Century small gifts were given with love notes, and by the 1900's printed cards replaced letters.

*a fun fact for greedy Hallmark: an estimated 1 billion V-day cards are sent yearly. Rub hands together in your big chair - bastards*

FACT: Valentines day is the second most celebrated holiday worldwide.

Finally let me just say it is beautiful to show your lover you care, but why just one day? And why with a card that you simply sign names in? If you were my 'Valentine' it wouldn't be a once a year thing, it'd be all year round poetry, cleaning and cooking. Because sometimes I can be sweet, even though cheesy romance makes me hurl. And nothing is sweeter than a home cooked meal waiting for you after work, both practical and delicious. At least, it sure beats a fucking card once a year.

Love ...... xx.

PS: Roses are red, Violets blue.
Sugar is sweet, you are too.
[As I write this sweet note for you, I'm suppressing my vomit & gagging too.]

PPS: Happy Valentines Day.

&.the.bohemian.girl.xx.