My friend recently took a HUGE leap and quit his job, this is a big deal because it's something he has spoken about for the longest bloody time. I'm so proud of him for doing it, and I know it wouldn't have been easy as it's his fathers business. After he told me and we talked about all the awesome things he can do with his spare time - like sleeping - he mentioned writing a list, a list of all the things he has talked about doing that he has yet to have done. I told him he doesn't want that list, it's too fucking depressing. Because it is; who wants an epic list of everything they wanted to do and haven't done yet in their face? But then again, maybe we need the list. The list could be the shove that we need, the piece of paper that says "look here you fool, you may think you're living, but look at all this shit you've talked about but haven't got around to!!" the list may slap you in the face, but really, that's only the beginning of its power.
I'm not going to lie, I'm a pretty great procrastinator, dare I say a professional in the art of procrastination. I can always find something else to caught up in to avoid focussing on the task at hand, and it's not because I don't want to complete the task, I really do! I just struggle with completing the goals, as I can be scared for what comes next. It's ridiculous, but… I just finished painting my nails just now. You see what I mean. And blogging isn't even a big thing, there are so many things I want to do, so why stay focused on the one task. I know I know, to finish the thing. Oh Lordy Tara, make like Nike and just do it. I really need to push aside all fears of judgement and the always present concern that I can't do that, because why can't I? Other people have, why not me? Why not you too.
See how I just wrote a paragraph about procrastinating?
Whilst I'm analysing my faults, I've realised just how much of an addictive personality I have. I mean I can give something up when I focus on it, and I won't even miss it, but I'll find something to replace whats lost. For example I didn't drink for a 24 days - lets not point out that I know the number of days - but I did rekindle my love for Ebay. I realise now after buying a whole new wardrobe of clothing that I may need to back off the Ebay. Although I do love having parcels delivered, I have quite the relationship with the post lady now. I've come to think of Ebay as another form of gambling though, you get a thrill out of the concept of beating someone, and you loose your cool and take it too far every once in a while. And to be frank, I can be an Ebay asshole. I get mad when someone outbids me, so I bid a little higher, hoping that they will have to pay more. How rude is that? And ridiculous. Damn Ebay bringing out the worst in me. The guilt, the shame… Don't judge me, I've confessed my sins.
Enough about procrastinating, and Ebay - you glorious bastard you! Today I'm finishing a blog, doing yoga, getting my fridge filled, getting my car fuelled, writing 1000 words, and removing everything from my watch list on Ebay. All before I go to work this afternoon. And I don't need a list, fuck the list, I'm just going to do it. WOO! I mean my nails are done, so I'm pretty much ready for anything the day can throw at me now. I'll be like BOOM, ombre nails. They're like little blue laser beams, shooting out of my fingers tips. Nothing can stop me now! Well maybe cat memes can stop me… but they won't, not this time. I'm taking charge, like a ninja on crack. Instead it's just me, highly caffeinated, and getting my mojo working.
And here's a mini-recap for my friends and family, aka the people that read my nonsense: My melbourne visit was busy, emotional and filled with love and the best company. I spent a lot of time in the hospital with my pop - who is slapping the negatives in the face by choosing to remain positive (hoorah - suck it cancer!) - I took my nan out to coffee and of course went to the vegan donut place, their jam donuts are out of control. Had a long overdue family lunch, Nicole is starting to show by the way - she's got a little girl brewing in there! We're all super stoked about it. Of course I snuggled the crap out of Charlie, that's a given. My little love bug.
In other news I broke my dry July with only a week to go, you see I figured it was more important to break that then it was to break tradition on the pint at the airport. Also lets face it, in my family we drink wine and tend to stress eat during the hard times. Well we may just drink wine through all the times… Oh! I hadn't had a good nights sleep for about a week, but after flying back to Adelaide on Sunday and working that day, I can say I finally got a full nights rest, and it was glorious. But not as glorious as those jam donuts, mum you're going to need to bring me one when you visit next week, one or five, whatever.
On a final note before I make like the Hulk and smash this day! They say nothing in life worth having should be easy, and they're right - whoever the hell they are - where would the fun, adventure and sense of self achievement be in that? Any small step is a step in the right direction. So don't put pressure on yourselves, but do take a leap every once in a while, it may just pay off or at the very least you'll have done something.
Big, huge, enormous, gargantuan love. Because love is the drug for me.
&.the.bohemian.girl.xx.
Postscript: I have to admit, I really do love a good list. Seeing it all written out in front of me, and of course ticking off those little boxes! Goddamn that is a satisfying motion. With a flick of the wrist, another goal bites the dust. Ohhhhh yeeaahhhh, suck my tick!! I will write the list of the undone, I want to see it now, I want it in my face. I think I'm finally ready to tick some serious boxes.
